view from behind the scenes

When I helped Joe and Jen set up this new blog, I forgot to mention to them how to delete my posting privileges, so I'm sneaking in an unauthorized post to report on my first day back in Chicago with these guys.

There's relief and some wholeness, it seems, for these guys to be together again as a family unit--and nice to see the four of them together in the hospital room (though I could only watch for a minute as my being over there put them over the maximum number of people permitted in their PICU room). It was especially nice seeing the reunion and knowing how many people chipped in to have Joey cared for during the last two weeks, and then to get him to Holland, and then to Chicago from Holland through the blizzard.

I've been able to jump onto Joe's computer while he sits by Isaiah's bed in the PICU, Isaiah having fallen off to sleep, his legs crossed, rainbow pillow by his head, and a smattering of Thomas the Train cars on the tray. It's peaceful in a way that perhaps masks the underlying anxiety and uncertainty that is unavoidable as long as they are here.

For their part, Joe and Jen are exhausted, each in turn as they rotate on and off one night from the next. They tag team so that one of them is always here with Zaya. Through the exhaustion, they are beautiful, amazing, vulnerable, and fallible, often all at once, in person just as in their writings. In the little time in which they overlap they maintain their marriage, spars of wit and humor, exchanges of information, questions and concerns, embraces more like leaning on each other. It's amazing to me they have much left to write, knowing that too takes a lot of energy.

But I think they gain strength from sharing in a way. They read the responses and talk about them, lightened by the encouragement. I know they've also been humbled by the response to their request for help, as so many of you have chipped in there. I think it's extremely difficult for these guys to be in a place like Children's and know that people literally around the world are looking out for them, financially spiritually emotionally, while another family just a few doors down, or somewhere else in Chicago, Haiti, Africa, is just trying to keep it together with what little they have. Perhaps to know you're blessed is to also honor the fact that there is a responsibility that goes with that, and to share what they have with others, which in turn comes back to them again. This is what tends to come from their hearts and minds, expressed in these journals, and in the thanks that is their sharing.

Meanwhile, Joey and I entertain ourselves in the subzero climate of Chicago, by hitting the mall(s) in search of Lego projects and Thomas the Train cars. He enjoyed the Lego store and riding around town in cabs.


For my part, I just want to thank everyone reading this for helping these guys out, and also for playing a part in making it possible for me to be here with them for the week. Jan Potts, for the plane ticket, Erin for taking both kids for a week, Alan for letting me crash his place at midnight last night, and all of you who have helped out for expenses for their stay here.

Now they are sure to revoke my posting privileges, so with that, goodnight.